A letter for you, who drifted away and left the game
5:29 PM
I am writing you this because I finally got it.
The laude and the degree. The two things you have constantly reminded me to achieve. I just wanted to share you this wherever you are right now for you have been my outlet of happiness, anger, irritation, and stress for the last year I had in the university. You faced my problems and demons in times that I could not. You didn't put me to sleep until I feel better (and until I finish writing my thesis). You have been a great company in simpler words, weirdo. And for that, you share a part in this success. After all, this is something you have wanted for me, right?
The laude and the degree. The two things you have constantly reminded me to achieve. I just wanted to share you this wherever you are right now for you have been my outlet of happiness, anger, irritation, and stress for the last year I had in the university. You faced my problems and demons in times that I could not. You didn't put me to sleep until I feel better (and until I finish writing my thesis). You have been a great company in simpler words, weirdo. And for that, you share a part in this success. After all, this is something you have wanted for me, right?
Lately, I thought I was finally relieved about the idea of you, completely disappearing from my life. However, there was a time I've gone back to what we once had: our past conversations and the doodles we gave to one another, the games we played together, our 2-hour chess games, your gospel and homily sharing whenever I could not attend the mass, your lame-ass pranks, my drunk self and your sober self confessing to one another, the poems we wrote, the songs you sang and played, the jokes, banats, and nonsense stories which sent us both hysterically laughing all the time, our unfinished story stuck in its 5th chapter, and a lot more. You, who rocks a cold exterior but in reality is a socially awkward recluse. You, who makes the girls swoon over your jaw-dropping features. You, who gets really awkward and shy around people. You, whose laugh, smile, and voice soothes me the way no other voice could ever do. I have to admit something and this might seem unnecessary as you might not feel the same, but I miss you. I still do. I don't want to admit this but a small part of me is still, perhaps, attached to you in some way.
I can still remember you telling me that you refrain from promising things you cannot fulfill in the end, though it has appalled me since you still gave me some. You told me to "just hold onto what we feel," but you left me hanging alone. You continuously assured me to "don't worry because everything will turn out fine in the end," but everything turned worse than fine. You promised to never leave me because you "don't want to be another guy who breaks your heart," yet you have written your name on the list. You even told me that "I don't want to break promises I made to you," well then congratulations. You have proposed a lot of things for our future and we may have promised that we got each other's backs to fulfill them someday, but today, I will stop leaning on the imagination of yours.
I am, still, convincing myself that everything was just a game I am thrilled by the enjoyment of playing with you, not until you left me playing all by myself. It was so consuming to the point that it has left me blind to what I should really feel: stupid. Stupid because I induced myself to the idea that you will come back, flashing your enthralling small smile, and ready to play this game with me again. But hey, I'm tired and have pushed myself enough. This is me, finally logging out.
I hope you're doing well.
Always in all ways.
Your "Danugh" didn't lose the game.
She levels up.
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